its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
