Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
