You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
