I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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