Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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