There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
