I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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