Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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