he was CRYING into my vagina
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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