I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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