dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Text me some of your sweat
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
