You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
