i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have fence marks all over my body
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
