The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
