just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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