five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
