Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
