just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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