i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
where are you?
Hypothermia
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
