Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
