the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
