i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
