Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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