I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
this will be a night to untag.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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