Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
