Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
