Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
