Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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