I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Duck Duck Cougar?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
