And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
