She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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