I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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