He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
