I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
