It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
