Define "chronic" masturbator.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
