walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
