On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I will be naked everywhere
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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