apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
