I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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