Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
