Whod you bang
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
