So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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