I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
