I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
