i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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