so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We need to rekindle our bromance
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
