hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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