So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
