Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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