THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
